Handy cut-and-paste poor customer service rant

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Joined: 02/12/2009

Here is a rant that you can reuse when a company's customer service is on auto-pilot, and they send you multiple stock replies without even reading your question. Just copy-and-paste it into your reply.


Thanks for nothing.

It's obvious at this point that your support reps don't read the contents of
emails from customers, only looking at the title or possibly the first few
words of it before picking a canned response from a pre-prepared list of
"FAQ" replies. I've now received multiple responses that did not address
my point. So I'll just ramble on into the ether, shouting into the wilderness.

The funny thing is that I was just letting you know about a glitch in your
system with the (pointless) hope that it might help future frustrated
customers. But you missed the boat.

But that's my lot in life. I try to report bugs to big companies, but never
get any thanks for trying to help. It's a waste of my time. This is why
people like me, who actually think for themselves, hate big faceless
companies and go out of their way not to support them.

And I know that the individuals who work there are good people, just trying
to get through the day so they can pay their rent/mortgage. Like me, you'd
rather be doing just about anything else rather than read at this email. But
you can't get paid unless you do the time.

Unless we question the status quo, we are just supplicants to the Corporate
Whorehouse that is America and the Latest New World Order. We all turn a
blind eye to the Whorehouse, because it's "not really hurting anyone" and
it's "always been that way."

Pardon my French, but fuck that attitude. We lazy Americans take for granted
the freedoms we have and have no backbone when it comes to standing up for
our rights as individuals. We take whatever news that's handed to us and
don't consider where it's coming from. We are each more than just a
disposable income figure on a demographic chart.

Sure, now that you mention it, I DO need those teeth whitening strips.
You're kidding- this toothbrush has an ANGLE to get to those hard-to-reach
molars? It's a wonder I've kept my teeth at all without that! Holy shit,
you're telling me that you'll let me PREPAY my cellphone bill? Thanks!
Extended Warranty? Absolutely, that product IS a piece of crap!

So, did you vote in the last election? If not, you suck, this is all your fault.
If so, congrats. You're one of the few who care. And no, I'm not talking about American Idol.


So, if you've made it this far, hopefully this has livened up your day in
your cubicle at call center #5695. "Hey, check this one out- we got another
raving lunatic who's 'mad as Hell and not going to take it anymore!!'...
This one went on and on for 5 pages." Ooops, here comes the boss.

P.S. Watch the 1976 movie "Network".

P.P.S. This is a pre-written response that I copied-and-pasted. So no, I
didn't just waste 15 minutes writing this. I did, however, waste your time
reading it.